


Broken

by Halcyonna_714



Category: Amell - Fandom, Cullen - Fandom, Cullen Rutherford - Fandom, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins, Solona Amell - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Child Death, Demonic Possession, Dragin Age Origins, Dragon Age - Freeform, Dragon Age Quest: Broken Circle, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Love, NSFW, Romance, Sexual Content, Smut, Tragedy, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 09:25:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4955029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halcyonna_714/pseuds/Halcyonna_714
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We found our beloved Templar on the verge of succumbing to demonic influence during the Broken Circle, but what if Cullen had broken?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Young Templar

**Author's Note:**

> I've had the idea for this fic rattling around in my brain for a long time. I've always been fascinated with the relationship between the mage warden and Cullen. I've felt like there is/was a lot of room there to explore. Personally, I've always been curious as to what "the one thing" was Cullen always wanted "but could never have." I've also wondered, if the Broken Circle had ended a bit more tragically, how would it have changed Solona Amell? So I wrote this fic to answer those questions. If you've ever wondered something similar, this one is for you. 
> 
> Just a heads up, it was a first for me so you'll likely see some small changes in my writing as the chapters progress, hopefully for the better. Please do not hesitate to comment your likes and dislikes about this fic whether it's regarding the story or my writing. I value constructive criticism and compliments greatly! Thank you and happy (though unhappy may be more accurate by the time your through) reading!

     The old Templar, with his blade raised above his head, dripping with blood and black grime, roared wildly as he charged the mage. The mage, amused by the Templar’s fury, smiled a sadistic grin. He took the dagger in his left hand and sliced his right palm. Blood soaked the floor and a swirl of energy burst outward from where the mage stood. The force threw the old Templar on his back and knocked his blade from his hand and the air from his lungs. The old Templar gasped for air and rolled to his belly. He quickly pushed himself up on his knees and looked around desperately for his blade. Then he heard it, a bone chilling shriek that curdled his blood. He looked back over his shoulder at the mage who no longer stood alone. The mage pointed at him with a bloody finger and the grotesque black shape by his side streaked toward the old Templar. Out of the corner of his eye, the old Templar saw the glint of his sword. He crawled hastily towards it. As he grabbed the hilt of the blade and swung around to counter the demon’s attack, long fingers like obsidian daggers pierced through his ribs and tore open his flesh. He hadn’t been quick enough.

     The old Templar choked on his blood. His sword slipped from his fingers. He barely heard the clang as it fell against the stone floor. As the world faded to black, he saw a lean figure fill the door way in front of him. All he could recognize was the gold curls. He knew the young Templar. Talented and noble, but the lad didn’t stand a chance.

     “Run.” The old Templar breathed.

     “Farris!” the young Templar cried out as his mentor fell forward. The mage’s cruel laugh echoed in the chamber.

     “I’ve waited so long for this!” He shouted. The demon shrieked happily, echoing the mage’s excitement. It charged the young Templar, but he was already running. He was no fool. He was unarmed but even if he weren’t, if Farris was no match for the demon, then neither was he.

     He heard the creature pursuing him. It cried out, thrilled by the hunt. But the young Templar didn’t look back. He kept running. He heard the fighting all around him. He recognized the voice of one of his comrades, Annlise, as she wailed in agony. She was a brilliant swordsman and a righteous Templar. But it didn’t’ matter. Her scream was cut short as the demons and the blood mages that commanded them overcame her. The young Templar couldn’t help her. He kept running. Then he turned a corner and instantly recognized one of his closest friends laying in a pool of blood on the ground.

     “Beval.” The young Templar choked.

     The eyes of the dead Templar, white and wide from terror, bored into him as he stood frozen from shock. The sound of the demon pursuing him grew louder. Soon it would be upon him. But he couldn’t move. Farris. Annlise. Beval. They were all dead. And he had been helpless and unable to save them. Hadn’t that been the point? All those years of training, leaving his family, taking the- lyrium. It was supposed to have prepared him for this! And yet, he had been utterly useless!

     The voices of his fallen comrades filled his head. No, the young Templar couldn’t help them, but he could still survive. He could live to fight another day. He could live to avenge them! Finally, he did as they pleaded. He ran.

     The young Templar was nearing the Harrowing chamber when he dared a glance over his shoulder. He didn’t see the demon chasing him. He burst through the first door he came upon and slammed it shut behind him. He pushed both hands against it and leaned in with all his weight, preparing for something to try and force it open. But nothing did. He panted for breath. His heart raced in his chest. He listened. But there were no sounds coming from outside. He pressed his ear to the door. Still, nothing. He relaxed a little. But then, in the corner of his vision he saw sudden movement.

     He wasn’t alone.

     He whirled around and there, inches from his face, was an eerily beautiful demon. It stared through his eyes and into his soul. With a voice rich as honey she mewled his name.

     “Cullen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for giving my little fic a chance. I hope you'll continue reading. And if you like what you read, please leave a kudo and/or comment. I'm always eager for feedback. Thank you. Happy reading!


	2. Heart's Desire

     Cullen’s eyes tore open as he suddenly awoke in a cold sweat and shot up in his bed. He panted heavily for breath and slowly examined his surroundings. The cold stone of the Circle’s walls were gone. Instead he was surrounded by the rustic wooden interior of a small farmhouse. The smell of the Ferelden countryside and the sounds of early morning poured through an open window on the wall opposite of him. He himself was swaddled by the warmth of the fur blankets on his bed. He ran his hands over the course pelt draped across his lap. It was not unfamiliar. No. he knew this place. This wasn’t _a_ farmhouse, it was _his_ farmhouse. Still, he couldn’t help feel as though things weren’t quite what they appeared. The walls seemed to blur in the outer edges of his vison and the trees outside his window melted together. Perhaps he was still just shaken from his nightmare.

      Cullen’s memories of the carnage that took place in the Circle refused to cease haunting his dreams. He had to forcefully tell himself that was all they were, dreams. He was not in the Circle any more. He was not fighting anymore. He had escaped and now he was safe, at home, in his bed and alone. Or so he thought. The door to his room creaked open and a little voice called out to him.

      “Are you ok Daddy?”

      Cullen was startled, but he suddenly remembered to whom the little voice belonged and relaxed. He looked toward the door and saw a little brown eyed girl peeking sheepishly into his room while holding a toy wooden sword in her hand.

      “Yes, Emma darling. I’m fine.” Cullen said as he smiled to her.

      Emboldened by his tenderness, Emma pushed her way into his room. Her golden ringlets bounced up down as she gleefully skipped toward him. Cullen felt a wave of happiness wash over him as she climbed up next to him. Oh how he loved this little girl! No. _His_ little girl. Immediately he wrapped Emma up in a big bear hug. She giggled and dropped her toy sword as he squeezed her tightly.

      “Daddy you’re squishing me!” Emma squeaked happily. She tried wriggling free of Cullen’s embrace.

      “Oh, I’m sorry love.” Cullen said as he realized he really was hugging Emma too tightly. He loosened his arms from around her waist. Finally free, Emma quickly snatched up her toy sword and settled down on his lap. She adoringly looked up at her father with a bright smile, but he wasn’t looking at her.

      Cullen coiled one of Emma’s curls around his finger and carefully examined the way it glittered in the sunlight filtering through the window. It looked real and it felt real, but there was a twinge of uncertainty looming in the far corners of his mind. Emma was keen to notice the sadness in her father’s eyes.

      “Daddy, did you have another bad dream?” Her question caught Cullen off-guard, but it seemed to break him free of his daze. He looked down to meet Emma’s quizzical stare.

      “I think so love.” He said. “But I’m ok now.” Cullen attempted a smile to reassure her, but Emma frowned skeptically at him. She shook her head.

      “Silly daddy.” Cullen was surprised by her response and was even more stunned when little Emma stood up on the bed. “I’ll protect you!”  Emma declared, with one hand on her hip and the other thrusting her sword in the air,

     Cullen laughed and it was clear Emma didn’t appreciate his snickering. Suddenly, she was holding the point of her sword between his eyes.

     “You don’t think I can?” Emma growled. Cullen almost burst out laughing again but did better to control himself this time.  

     “No love you could.” He said as he pushed her sword to the side with one hand. “It’s just, that is my line. Daddy’s are supposed to be the ones protecting their little girls.”

     “I am not a little girl!” Emma said indignity. “And girls can protect their daddy’s too!”

     “I suppose you’re right.” Cullen chuckled. She grinned smugly.

     “But,” he said, “How can you protect me if you can’t get away from the tickle monster?” Emma’s smug grin instantly vanished as Cullen grabbed her and attacked her belly with wiggling fingers. Emma flayed her arms about spastically and dropped her sword.

     “Daddy stop!” She squealed happily.

     “The tickle monster is hungry!” Cullen growled playfully. Despite the ‘tickle monster’s’ assaults and her laughter, Emma managed to squirm out of his grasp. She slid to the floor and swept up her sword. Cullen had followed Emma out of the bed, but now that she had a weapon in hand, the odds had turned in her favor. And Emma knew it.

     “Stop there tickle monster!” she barked.

     Cullen froze and examined his little opponent carefully. Emma’s form was awful. He could topple her over with one finger. He made a mental note to show her proper technique another time. For now, Cullen pretended to be terrified of his little opponent. He held his hands up in surrender.

     “Oh please mighty warrior! Have mercy on me!” he pleaded.

     “There is no mercy for monsters!” Emma shouted. She charged Cullen but just as she came within arm’s reach, he scooped her up in his arms again. He held her above his head and spun in a fast circle. She shrilled excitedly.

     “You are a terrifying warrior.” Cullen said as he lowered her towards to the floor.

     “See? I can protect you.” Emma grinned ear to ear. Cullen smiled and ruffled the curls on the top of her head.

 

      “Emma! Cullen! Come here please; play time is over!” Cullen felt his heart flip excitedly in his chest. He knew that voice.

     He followed Emma into the next room. It was quaint. There was small wooden table in the center of the room with three chairs set around it and on top of it was a shallow basket filled with freshly collected eggs. Across from him, on the other side of the table, was the stone hearth. And standing in front of the hearth was her. His wife. His Solona.

     She stood with her back to him but he knew who she was. Even from behind, he could recognize the slender silhouette of her body and the way her copper hair fell over her shoulders and down her back. He could recognize her perhaps better then he could recognize his own reflection. She was exactly as he remembered. She was perfect. Too perfect.

     “Momma!” Emma called out. Solona turned to pick up Emma. She hefted the little girl onto one hip.

     “Finally got your daddy out of bed did you?” Solona said as she gently pinched Emma’s nose and wiggled it side to side. They both laughed. Maker’s breath. Solona’s laugh freed a flurry of butterflies within Cullen’s stomach. He desired nothing more than to hold her right now. Forcing his reservations to the side, Cullen crossed the room to join them.

     “Were you needing me for something?” Cullen asked Solona as he slipped his arms around her waist effectively sandwiching Emma between them. He felt his loins tighten the moment he had Solona in his arms and felt her body pressed against his own,

     “Well,” Solona started to reply.

     She looked up to meet his gaze and Cullen lost his breath for just a moment. The gold flecks in her delectable brown eyes shimmered as they caught a small ray of sunlight shining through the window. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen her eyes, nonetheless, he gawked stupidly at her.

     “What are you all slack jawed for?” Solona said. She spoke sternly but she couldn’t hide her blushing.

     “Oh I uh—sorry.” He looked away and unhooked one hand from around her waist to rub the back of his head. “You just um, look beautiful this morning.”

     “Oh? Do I normally not?” She playfully chided.

     “What? No! I mean, you do! Look beautiful I mean!” Solona chuckled as Cullen stumbled over his words and pulled away from her.

     “You always look pretty momma!” Emma exclaimed trying to save her father from his own embarrassment.

     “Thank you darling, but you are far prettier.” Solona smiled and touched her nose to Emma’s. Emma giggled as Solona moved to let her down to the floor.

     “Now, to answer your question,” Solona said “yes I do need your help.”

     “Anything love.” Cullen said, glad for the sudden subject change.

     “Can you get the fire started in the stove for me?” She pleaded as she batted her long lashes and pointed to the stove beside them. Cullen snorted with amusement.

     “Why do you need me to start it? Can’t you just snap your fingers and do it?” Clearly that was not the proper response.

     “You _know_ I’m trying not to use magic Cullen.” She said hotly. “You may not be a Templar anymore but that doesn’t mean other Templars aren’t still out there.”

     “Ok, ok calm down. You’re right.” Cullen began to kneel down in front of the stove when suddenly he heard Solona shouting behind him.

     “Emma no!”

     He turned around just in time to see Emma tip the egg basket as she tried reaching into it. Neither he nor Solona would have been able to reach Emma in time to save the basket’s contents though. Now Emma was sitting on the floor in the middle of gooey egg yolk crying hysterically. Only one egg seemed to have survived and only because it hadn’t fallen from the basket.

     “I—I’m sorry momma! Please don’t be mad at me!” Emma squalled. Solona slumped her shoulders.

     “I’m not mad honey.” She sighed as she knelt down in front of the distraught little girl.

     “I just wanted to help.” Emma squeaked.

     “I know honey. I’ll still let you help me. I need you to go back out to the hen house and see if you can find any more eggs ok?” She took the single surviving egg out of the basket before handing the basket to the weeping child. “One might have been enough if your daddy didn’t always eat so much.”

     “Hey!” Cullen cried out in false offense. Solona smirked at him. Their light hearted exchange seemed to calm Emma down a little. Solona helped her up then escorted her out the door. After Emma had gone, she turned around shaking her head.

     “What a mess.” She said looking at the puddle of egg yolk on the floor. She shuffled across the room to grab the cloth off the hearth beside Cullen. “Good thing you’re slow at starting fires and hadn’t had it going yet.”

     “You are in a mood today aren’t you?” Cullen smirked. He picked up the cloth to hand it to her.

     “It’s called tough love. You should be used to it by now dear husband.” Solona took the rag then turned back around.

     As she knelt to wipe of the egg yolk on the floor, Cullen couldn’t help but notice her perfectly round posterior. He felt a small pulse in his nether regions as he admired the Maker’s craftsmanship exhibited in the shape of Solona’s body. Oh how he desired to take her on the table right there and right now. Cullen’s eyes were busy ogling his wife when she unexpectedly stood up and turned around. She was quick to notice his hungry gaze.

     “Enjoying the view are you?” The corner of her mouth playfully turned upward. Cullen’s cheeks flushed red as he tore his gaze away from her.

     “No! I—I mean yes! I mean I uh—.” He looked away and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

     Andraste’s ass! Solona was his wife! They have had a baby together! He could look at her as much as he desired. Why then did he keep acting like they were back in the circle? Why did he keep acting like he was a Templar caught with his armor off? Why did he keep feeling like all of this was a new experience? It was like he didn’t remember that he escaped the Circle with Solona and made her his wife, or that they built a home together in the secluded countryside away from prying eyes, or that she gave birth to their beautiful daughter. Why couldn’t he remember? Surely his dream hadn’t shaken him this badly. Unless— it wasn’t a dream. No. It wasn’t a dream was it? This was. Cullen felt his heart shatter and his stomach twisted sickeningly. It really had been too perfect. He should’ve known. He had everything his heart desired. But none of it was real was it? Not the farmhouse. Not Emma. Not Solona. None of it.

     “Cullen?” Solona was standing right in front of him now. He turned to look at her as she regarded him with concern. She immediately saw the redness and tears in his eyes.

     “Cullen what’s wrong?!” She tried to cradle his cheek in her hand but he jerked away from her touch and stumbled away from her.

     “How far they must have delved into my thoughts!” Cullen muttered through clenched teeth as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his tightly shut eyes.

     “What?” Solona said.

     “How dare you!” Cullen screamed. He smashed his fist against the wall. Solona was startled by his outburst and backed away. “Tempting me with the _one_ thing I always wanted and could _never_ have!” Without warning, Cullen whirled around and grabbed her by the shoulders. He had intended to smash the demon’s head into the wall, but it was Solona’s eyes staring back at him, frightened and confused. His fingers dug into her flesh as he glared at her, unsure what to do. She searched his eyes for answers then understanding slowly came upon her.

     “Cullen,” Solona spoke carefully so as not to stir his ire. “We’ve been through this before. We’re not in the circle any more darling. You’re safe now.”

     “I don’t believe you demon.” He hissed. Solona winced at his words.

     “Cullen, please.” She groaned as his finger nails began to cut into her skin. “It’s me.”

     “How can I be sure that it’s you?” He snarled. Sadness filled her eyes when she answered.

     “I suppose you can’t”

     Her answer was honest. Too honest. Cullen hadn’t expected such a thing from a demon. Perhaps this really was his Solona. He pushed her away forcefully and gawked at his hands horrified.

     “I—I’m sorry!” He said franticly. If this really was his Solona—Oh maker what had he done! Cullen fell into one of the chairs and buried his face in his hands and cried. His guilt and frustration poured from his eyes and he felt so cold. And then, he felt her tenderly embrace him and envelope him with her warmth. He didn’t understand it. How could she still love him after what he had just done to her?

     “You don’t have to be sorry.” Solona whispered fondly. “You’ve always been afraid of being happy Cullen. For some reason you think you don’t deserve it. And so you doubt and then you can’t tell what is real or not.” He lifted his face from his hands and gazed at her bewildered. She smiled affectionately back at him.  “You don’t have to be afraid my love. I will always be your light in the darkness. And I will always be there to hold you even when you've lost your way.”

     “I shouldn’t have hurt you.” He said quietly. She almost seemed to laugh.

     “Cullen it’s ok. I love you.” She said.

     He lost himself in her eyes, her perfect beautiful eyes. This could very well be a demon embracing him, but what if she was real.  It was far more likely she was a demon but Cullen realized, if she was real, if this life he was living was real, he couldn’t risk losing any of it, especially her, no matter what the odds.

     “I love you too.” He finally said.

     Solona’s smile stretched ear to ear. She dipped down to kiss him but it was Cullen who closed the final gap between their lips. The moment he tasted her, fire ignited within his body. They had kissed many times before, but this felt like the very first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Cullen don't do it! Ugh, too late... Next chapter is NSFW. Don't forget to leave a kudo and/or a comment before continuing if you haven't already. Thank you for your support.


	3. Fire and Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW. I repeat, THIS CHAPTER IS NSFW!!! Now that we got that cleared up, enjoy ;)

     Desire threatened to swallow Cullen whole. He felt it like the sun burning inside him and it commanded a feast. The taste of Solona’s lips provided some small satisfaction but the flames demanded more. Fire spread up from his loins, consuming his body. Hungry, so very hungry! He needed more!

     Cullen feverishly groped one hand through the copper strands of Solona’s hair. With his other hand on her waist, he pulled her down on his lap. He pressed his mouth against hers. Solona parted her lips allowing his tongue to gain entry. A low rumble echoed from deep within Cullen’s chest as he savored her. But she couldn’t breathe.

     With a forceful push Solona tore her lips apart from his. She gasped for air, but hints of her own pleasure were betrayed by the faint moans on her breath. The burning pulsed inside Cullen with greater intensity. He could feel her heat grow as well as he hardened between her legs. So hungry!

     Cullen hunted for her lips but Solona tipped her chin up keeping her mouth just out of reach. So be it. The curvature of her jaw and the lines of her neck were just as enticing. Solona’s skin pebbled as Cullen’s teeth ghosted across her collar bone. He disentangled his fingers from her hair to search for the hem of her skirt. Cullen felt her shudder beneath his calloused hands as his fingers trailed up her shin then along her inner thigh towards her burning sex. His fingers slipped beneath her small clothes. She was already so wet. And then, hunger bit down inside him. He sunk his teeth into her flesh and thrust his fingers in-between her swollen lips. Her walls tightened around him as she cried out. Unexpected pleasure and pain coursed through her body.

     “I’m sorry” Cullen said apologetically. He licked the faint indentions his canines left in her skin. “Did I hurt you?” Solona trembled as his breath danced across her wet skin and his thumb gently rubbed against her clit.

     “No.” She breathed as she gazed down into his eyes from beneath hooded eyelids. Solona’s lips slightly parted and began drying as her chest rapidly rose and fell. 

     Cullen slid his hand out from under her skirt. She closed her eyes and moaned in protest. He tipped her chin down gently and tried to lean up to kiss her. But suddenly Solona’s eyes burst open as if she was waking from a dream.  

     “No!” She said forcefully. She pulled away and began to stand.

     Cullen’s body grew cold as her heat left him. The hunger inside protested angrily and his loins pulsed painfully. Bewildered Cullen watched Solona walk away around the table. Then she stopped. She looked at him over her shoulder with unmistakable want in her eyes. 

     “What are you doing still sitting there?” She said. Cullen sat up. The desire began to grow inside him once more. “I just meant not here. What if Emma comes back?”

     “Well at least she’d know her parents love each other.” He smirked as he quickly stood and stalked around the table after her. Solona laughed. Makers breath her laugh.

     She locked gazes with him as she sauntered backwards toward the bedroom door. Her body beckoned him to follow. His primal desire to feed upon her essence propelled him forward even quicker. He was so hungry for her! He had been anticipating this moment for what felt like an eternity. And finally he would have her!

     But wait- doubt slowly began seeping into his thoughts again like a poison. Cullen couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of foreboding. His steps slowed and he stopped just as he reached the threshold to the bedroom. Solona stood just beyond. The darkness behind her reached for him like many black hands seeking to pull him into the abyss. Voices called out to him from somewhere deep in his mind.

 _Run!_ They cried out.

     He started to move back. Solona’s gaze darkened.

_Run Cullen!_

     “Farris?” He whispered.

     He heard the screams of his comrades and the shrieking of demons. For a moment he thought he was standing in the tower. He stepped back again. Something wasn’t right. The voices became more numerous and louder. He covered his ears and squeezed his eyes shut.  

     “Cullen” Solona said tenderly, her voice was distant. “Cullen look at me.”

 _No, Run!_ They screamed.

     Cullen hissed in pain. His head felt like it was about to explode.

     “Cullen look at me.” Solona said a little more intensely.

_Cullen!_

     “Cullen!”

_Cullen!_

     “Enough!” He shouted. A cold sweat had broken out over his body as he trembled. He willed himself to look at Solona. His eyes pleading for release. She grinned.  

     “Yes,” She said.

     The voices began to fade.

     “See?” Solona stepped toward him and cupped his face in her hands. “What you desire is right here.” Cullen thought he saw a flash of purple within the rich brown and gold of her irises but before he could react she kissed him eagerly. The hunger roared back to life inside him.

     Solona left him breathless as she pulled away from his lips, the tips of her slender fingers slid from beneath his chin, a dark smile stretched impossibly across her face. Slowly she stepped backward letting the shadows enveloped her. Without hesitation, Cullen stepped across the threshold following her into the darkness. All that remained was desire.  

     The flames became waves, pushing and pulling with the ebb and flow of their bodies. Forward and back, again and again. Slow and tender, savoring every inch of his flesh and the velvet caress of her walls. His forearms burrowed into the pelts beneath her head. Her fingers laced through his moist gold curls. She turned her mouth toward his ear.

     “Cullen.” She mewled. Her voice reverberated in his ears like thunder in the distance.

     He thrusted forward. She tipped her chin up and groaned as his length filled her. He pulled back, then again he pushed into her. She whimpered and her legs tightened around him. Again. He pulled then pushed. A little more forcefully. Her hands slid to his back, fingernails cut into his skin. He gritted his teeth. Again. Pull and Push. A little deeper. She moaned, pleasure washed across them both. Again. Pull and push. Pull and push. Her escalating moaning crashed into him like waves against the rocky shore. He was drowning but he dared not come up for air now. Pull. He straightened his arms. Push. He watched her body arch beneath him. Pull. Her eyelids slid closed. Push. She cried out. Harder. Deeper. Pull. Push. Cullen felt the waves swell with the incoming storm. Pulling and pushing her cries filled the air like lightning, his groans became the thunder, pulling and pushing, pulling and pushing. Harder. Deeper. Faster. Pull and push, pull and push. Higher the waves became. Pull push, pull push. Higher and higher. Lightning and thunder shook the air all around them. Pull push pull push pull push. Higher higher! The waves were reaching their peak. Any moment they’d come crashing down.

     “Fuck me Cullen!” She cried out suddenly. His hips pressed into her, his arm muscles bulged and sweat filled the crevasses of his body as he unleashed the fury of the storm upon her. Her body was a ship at the mercy of the waves.

     But just as the waves reached their peak, just as Cullen felt the pulsing of release, a child’s scream seared through the raging storm clouds. They froze. And the waves shattered like glass.

     “Emma!” Solona shrieked. She shoved Cullen off and ran out outside without bothering to grab clothes. Cullen slid on his trousers and grabbed his sword as he ran after her. But as soon as he stepped outside, he was paralyzed by horror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well THAT was a little beyond my comfort zone. Nothing like your first time am I right? Lol. Any way, I know I sound like a broken record but PLEASE don't forget to leave a kudo and/or a comment. I'm dying to hear from you readers out there. Thank you!


	4. The Promise

     Solona screamed as she collapsed into a naked heaving knot of flesh at Cullen’s feet. What was that she said? Emma? Dead? No, no it couldn’t be. Emma was a little sun. Her eyes were always shining, her smile was always bright, her skin was always warm. The tiny little body lying on the ground before them was cold. Its eyes stared back at Cullen but there was no light in them, only fog. And yet, Solona continued to cry over it.

     “My baby! No!” She wailed. But her cries were so far away. Everything seemed far away except… Could that really be his Emma?

_Where were you Daddy?_

     Lifeless little eyes stared back him. He tried to move but his body wouldn’t respond.

_Why didn’t you protect me Daddy?_

     So much blood. It couldn’t possibly be hers. There was too much. And yet, it slowly seeped out from under the little body and flowed towards him.

     _Where were you Daddy?_

     “E-Emma?” Cullen choked. His sword slipped from his fingers. Then his knees gave out. He fell and hit the ground with a heavy thud. “No, no!” He wailed. His shoulders heaved as he cried alongside his wife.

_Daddy’s are supposed to be the ones protecting their little girls._

     But he hadn’t. And now, she was—

     “Cullen.”  A woman’s voice called out to him from somewhere in the distance. It was then Cullen became aware of the three fully armored Templars standing over the body of his little girl. It was the woman Templar standing in the middle that was trying to speak to him. “Cullen I don’t know what you think you’re seeing but…” She stopped abruptly as Cullen stopped crying and set his eyes upon them. Sudden rage filled his glare with bloodlust.

     “You.” He snarled. The Templars took a step back.

     “Cullen please listen to me!” The woman Templar called out. There was something familiar about her voice. His rage faltered.

     “No! Don’t listen to anything these monsters say!” Solona hissed from where she lay naked on the ground and covered in dirt. She too fixed her eyes, red and swollen from weeping, upon the Templars.  “They killed our baby!”

     “What? No! Cullen listen to me!” The woman Templar pleaded as she stepped towards him. Perhaps too eagerly.  

     “How dare you.” Cullen said. His voice was a low rumble. He reached for his sword and slowly stood up. Every muscle beneath his skin tensed as he stalked forward toward the Templars. “How dare you slaughter my daughter then speak to me as if she doesn’t lay cold at your feet!”

     “No Cullen, please!” The woman Templar pleaded once again. But Cullen could hear her no longer.  

     “Murderers!” He roared. He charged wildly at them with his blade held high above his head. The woman Templar stumbled backward. He closed the distance between them unbelievably fast.  She had no time to draw a weapon to counter him, but just as he was about to bring his blade down upon her, steel clashed against steel. Cullen grunted angrily as he pushed against a warrior Templar now standing between him and the woman. The warrior knocked Cullen back with his shield.

     “Don’t hurt him Alistair!” The woman Templar cried out.

     “Right, don’t hurt the raging mad man that’s hell bent on killing us.” Alistair said. Cullen swung his blade at him but Alistair deflected the blow with his shield.

     “You think this is a joke?!” Cullen growled.

     “Hardly.” Alistair quipped. “My life isn’t a joking matter.” Then he paused. “Actually, that’s probably not true. My life is a series of laughs.” Infuriated Cullen charged Alistair again but stopped short as he heard Solona shouting from behind him.

     Solona roared angrily as she spat fire from the palms of her hands. Cullen realized it was the third Templar that Solona was battling. But just as Solona’s flames were about to crash into the Templar, the Templar threw up a magic shield. No that couldn’t be right, Templars don’t use magic shields. But then the Templar hurled balls of magic energy back at Solona. Cullen could hardly believe what his eyes were seeing. A Mage Templar?! But there was no time to figure it out. Cullen heard the clanking of armor behind him and suddenly remembered the Templar Alistair.

     He turned to see Alistair swinging his shield at his head. Cullen dodged just in time. Alistair fell forward as his shield collided with nothing but air. Cullen maneuvered around behind Alistair and seized the opportunity to slash at his exposed back. But Cullen’s blade struck an invisible shield instead. Cullen glanced up at the Mage Templar battling Solona, but she was holding a shield up deflecting Solona’s incoming projectiles. Who then was shielding Alistair? His eyes quickly darted to the woman Templar. She had a staff in her hands and was clearly concentrating on holding the spell around Alistair.

     “Since when did mages become Templars?” Cullen snarled.

     “Cullen, we aren’t Templars. We’re…” But the woman Templar couldn’t finish. Solona screamed.

     Cullen turned to see another Templar emerging from a cloud of smoke and slicing twin daggers across Solona’s ribs. Solona had tried to dodge the surprise attack but couldn’t escape the sharp blades completely. A fourth Templar? And a rogue? Now the Templars had mages _and_ rogues in their ranks! Cullen was too angry to be confused. He failed to protect his daughter he wasn’t about to let them kill his wife too.  He tried to run to Solona’s aid but Alistair blocked his path.

     “Sorry but I can’t let you do that.” Alistair said. He held his sword and shield at the ready.

     Cullen was forced to stop and analyze the situation. He wasn’t going to be able to fight through Alistair quick enough. Helplessly he watched as Solona tried to hold a magic shield to repel the rogue’s furious twin dagger strikes and the Mage Templar’s magic attacks. He could see Solona’s legs trembling. She wasn’t going to hold out much longer. He needed to get them off of her now!

 _Think, think!_ Then an idea occurred to him.

     “Fine.” Cullen said abruptly. He dropped his sword and held his hands up in surrender. “You want to talk?” He turned towards the woman Templar behind him. “Then talk. But leave my wife out of this!”

     “Wynn, Leliana stop!” The woman Templar commanded without hesitation. They reluctantly did as they were told. Not even a full moment after, Solona’s shield crackled and she collapsed. Cullen looked back over his shoulder to her.

     “Solona are you ok honey?” He tenderly called out. She met his eyes and nodded to him between labored breaths. All four of the Templars tensed when Cullen said Solona’s name.

     “Your wife’s name is Solona?” The woman Templar asked. She sounded confused. The other three Templars looked back and forth between the naked woman and the woman Templar and Cullen.  

     “Is that what you came here and killed my daughter for?” Cullen asked angrily. “To inquire about the name of my wife?” The woman Templar stiffened.

     “Cullen. Do you not know who I am?” The woman Templar almost seemed sad as she asked him that question. He glared at her. But now that he was looking at her closer he did notice something familiar. The same familiarity that caused him pause earlier began creeping its way back into his mind. Did he know her? He couldn’t help but feel like he did. The way she talked, the way she stood. She did remind him of some one. Some one very dear to him. But just as he almost seemed to remember…

     “She’s a demon Cullen! Don’t listen to anything she says!” Solona stood up on shaking legs and held her side. Blood seeped between her fingers and down her skin.

     “Me?! I’m the demon!” The woman Templar shouted angrily. “You are the demon you vile whore!”

     “That’s it!” Cullen shouted, his rage quickly returned. “We’re done talking!”

     He suddenly reached down and grabbed a fistful of dirt and whirled around to throw it into the eye holes in Alistair’s helmet. Alistair hissed as dirt stung his eyes. He threw down his sword and shield to pull off his helmet and claw at his face. In the same moment, Cullen stole Alistair’s shield, spun around and threw it into the woman Templar knocking her to the ground. Solona also released a blast of cold that encased Wynn and Leliana in a shell of ice before they could react. With them now frozen and Alistair writhing on the ground blinded and in pain, only the woman Templar was left.

     She regained her balance and turned to face Cullen. The sweat on his body glistened as he bent down to pick up his sword and stalked toward her. She carefully side stepped around him and pointed her staff at him. He watched her with predatory focus and mirrored her steps.

     “You will die now.” He said with cold intensity.

     “Cullen listen to me.” The woman Templar pleaded once more. But the murder in his eyes was evident. Talking wasn’t going to do any good. “Cullen I don’t want to hurt you!”

     “But you’ll butcher an innocent child?!” His knuckles turned white as he clutched the hilt of his sword. “There is no mercy for monsters!” He screamed. He charged her then brought his blade down upon her. But once again his blade bounced back as it collided with an invisible shield.

     “Damn you!” He roared. His sword came down again and again, each time the woman Templar was pushed closer and closer to the ground. Cullen was unleashing all of his fury upon her, even with most of her mana in reserve, she wouldn’t be able to hold the shield for long.  

     “Cullen stop!” The desperation in her voice was unmistakable and it tugged on the threads of familiarity. But he was blinded by rage and consumed with the desire for vengeance.

     “Solona!” He shouted as he raised his blade above his head for the final time.

     Solona had been building her magic power for this moment. On Cullen’s command, she hurled all of it at the woman Templar’s shield. The woman Templar’s eyes widened in horror as her shield shattered and the sudden realization that there was nothing protecting her from the ire of Cullen’s blade came over her. But just as he began to swing his blade, drawing on all of his weight to deal the final blow, a bright light engulfed him.

     Cullen's heels dug into the dirt as he was pushed back several feet. The light dissipated. Somehow he was still standing. The woman Templar stared at him with wide eyes and her mouth a gap. He started to raise his blade again and charge towards her when unimaginable pain suddenly radiated out from his stomach and spread throughout his body. It was then he looked down to see a hole in his abdomen. The light of the sun behind him shone through his new wound and created a circle of light in his shadow. Blood sprinkled the ground at his feet.  

     Cullen’s legs gave out and he began to fall backward. He turned his head to see Solona once more. But Solona’s eyes met his with cold indifference. In fact, she looked disappointed. He was confused but he barely had time to ponder her glare.

     When Cullen saw Alistair behind her, it was already too late. The blade came through her back and out her chest. It was then, when Cullen saw the black blood spray from her wound, when he heard her unearthly scream, when her beautiful pale flesh peeled away revealing violet skin beneath, it was then Cullen realized his error with horror.

     “No” He choked, then he hit the ground.

     As Cullen lay there, blood quickly pooling beneath his body, the farmhouse and the country landscape slowly faded into the stone walls of the Circle tower and a ring of darkness began invading his vision. So this was the end then? Everything he had sacrificed was for nothing. Oh what a fool he had been. He heard the startled gasp of the woman Templar and the clang of the staff in her hands falling to the ground.

     “No.” She breathed. That voice.

     “Cullen!” Yes, he knew that voice now.

     “No! Please!” He knew exactly who that voice belonged to.

     There was a light in the darkness that enveloped him in warmth and that familiar voice cried his name. How did he not realize it sooner? He couldn’t see, the light was too bright, but he could feel her arms gently sit him up and cradle him.

     “Cullen please stay with me!” His eyes adjusted to the light a little and he finally saw her. She was focused on his wound trying to heal it with her minimal healing abilities. The light from her hand made her look like she was glowing. She was beautiful. 

     “S-Solona” He groaned. She paused then turned to meet his gaze. It was her. The real her. He saw her real lips quivering and her real eyes crying for him. Oh how he wanted to kiss those lips and take away their pain and take the sadness out of those eyes. If only he hadn’t been so weak! If only he had been honest with her back then.

     “Wynne help me please!” Solona cried out. Her magic could do nothing more than soothe his pain and provide them with a little more time.

     “I’m sorry child.” Said the white haired mage still shivering from the demon’s ice spell. “His wounds are beyond my abilities.”

     “No!” Solona cried. Her tears fell endlessly as she poured more mana into her own healing efforts. But Cullen could feel that it wasn’t enough. His time was quickly coming. How ironic. Now that he had actually been reunited with Solona, not a false Solona, he was dying. The Maker must have found great amusement in his suffering. 

     “Solona.” Cullen groaned again.

     “Cullen. I didn’t mean-” Solona looked at the hole in his stomach. She was overcome by guilt. Cullen had to touch her. He had to wipe away those tears, to tell her, it was ok. This wasn’t her fault. He slowly lifted a trembling hand to touch her face. But his hand began to fall just as his fingers brushed her cheek. Solona caught it and braced his hand with her own. She pressed her cheek into his palm and cried. As he felt her warmth beneath his touch, Cullen remember the last time he had tried to touch her like this.

 

     They were alone in the chapel. Cullen had heard her singing. Solona did not have an exquisite voice but it was the sincerity in her voice that enraptured him. 

     "You're not angry at the Maker?" He had asked her. 

  
     "Should I be?" She tilted her head to the side and looked at him curiously. Didn't she know she was the oddity here?   
           

     "No I suppose not. It's just most of the other Mages blame the Maker for creating them with magic."

     She chuckled.

     "I'm not like the other Mages though."

     He smiled. No she wasn't, was she? It was for that reason Cullen could never take his eyes off her. Unlike them, she always seemed to shine. It was like the dreariness of the tower had been absorbed into all the Mages except for her. 

     "But, it's because of magic you’re here?"

     "No," she said. "It's because of the Chantry I'm here. Not because of magic or because of the Maker." There was an unmistakable hint of anger in her voice as she looked away from him. She took a breath then met his eyes again. "I know I've been given this gift for a purpose." She said much calmer. "I intend to show the Chantry that Mages are invaluable. Yes, some give into temptation but even non-Mages get tempted and fail." 

     "But they don't become abominations." Cullen said flatly. She glared at him.

     “Maybe not the twisted monsters you’re thinking of. Some people possessed by demons still look human.”

     “I-” Cullen sighed. “Yes, you’re right. I’m sorry.”  She looked down. 

     "Locking us away, treating us like we have a disease, like, like we're less then human. That only makes the promises of demons sound all the more enticing." He couldn't help but notice the look in her eyes that told him she knew this from experience. Solona sighed then looked at him again. Her piercing gaze had softened

     "One day," she said. "One day I will show the world what magic can do.” She turned and gazed admirably at the statue of Andraste in the chapel, but Cullen’s eyes remained fixed on her as she continued. “On that day, I intended to show them that magic isn't a curse, it doesn’t cause darkness. I will show them that magic is the very light needed to expel the darkness." And he knew in that moment that she would. But more importantly, he knew he loved her. 

     His heart had pounded in his chest so loudly he thought she could hear it. Carefully he reached up to touch her as if she were made of glass and would shatter beneath his fingers. But the moment he felt the softness of her skin, he pulled away. She tried to conceal her disappointment but he easily saw it in her eyes.

     He nearly grabbed her then. He almost took her face in his hands. He almost pressed his mouth against hers and pushed her against the wall. He almost pulled his lips away from hers to taste the sweetness of her skin, along her jaw, then down her neck, then across her shoulder, then...

     But he didn't.

     Almost.

     But he didn't.

     Instead they parted ways. He watched the sway of her hips as she walked down the corridor. She knowingly smiled back at him over her shoulder. He quickly looked away, the heat rising in his cheeks. As he returned to his post, his mind wondered after her. Next time, next time he wouldn't pull back. That's what he told himself. But next time never came. 

     He had been so cold and calloused towards her. Conspiring with a blood mage! After all her talk of expelling darkness?! He felt betrayed. And then she was gone, rewarded for treachery! He had wanted so badly to believe she was different that he allowed himself to be fooled by her charm. Never once did he consider that she had been betrayed too.

 

     "I'm sorry." Cullen breathed as he looked up at her now. Her beautiful face was red, her eyes swollen from tears. He had been so cruel to her and yet here she was weeping over him. He didn't deserve her. 

     "Cullen I-" she choked on her tears. He smiled. 

     "You once said magic was needed to expel the darkness.” Cullen said struggling to speak. She looked at him curiously. “You did it Solona. You saved me from the darkness.”

     “No. This isn’t what I meant!” Solona whined. Cullen stroked her cheek with his thumb.

     “Promise me," he said. His voice now barely audible. "Promise me you'll stop them. Promise me you'll expel the darkness." Solona held his gaze for a moment. And then there it was, the same resolve in her eyes he had fallen in love with.  

     "I promise." She said unfaltering. And Cullen knew she would. He always knew she would. 

     "I love you." Cullen said. Her eyes widened and her breath stilled as she comprehended his words. If he had the strength he would have pulled her close and kissed her, instead she abruptly took his face in her hands and kissed him. 

      Cullen wasn't prepared for her kiss. When Solona’s lips met his he was overwhelmed by her passion as if it had been slowly building it up inside her but she never had been able to release it. Until now. And now, now that there would never be a next time, she unleashed everything upon him. And he realized then that she was more wonderful than anything he could have ever dreamed. He was filled with incredible longing. But the abyss around them began to pace like a hungry beast tired of waiting. He didn't have much longer left, but he didn't want to let her go. Despite the pain, he tried to kiss her back. He tried to pour as much of his love into her as she was to him. She pulled him closer, her tears fell from her eyes to his cheeks. They burned like droplets of fire. His whole body burned because this was both the first and the last time he would ever know her love. Finally, the abyss came down on upon them. Cullen gasped and cried out in pain.

     "Cullen?" Solona said.

     He couldn't breathe. Blood began to leak from the corner of his mouth.

     "Cullen?!" Solona cried out. The pain slowly devoured him, but it was the pain of losing her that consumed him.

     "I'm sorry Cullen!" She sobbed.

     He tried to speak. He tried to tell her he loved her once more but no words would come out.

     "I love you." She said between sobs. He couldn't see her eyes behind her tears. He wanted to see them just once more.

     "I love you." She said again as she touched her forehead to his own. She bathed him with the light from her hand. His pain eased. All he could do was reach up and touch her one last time.

 

     She had held him long after he had breathed his last. Alistair watched over her with Leliana and Wynne but they did not dare interrupt her mourning. Alistair had never seen Solona so broken. She was always so confidant and strong, but right now, she was a woman in pain. What kind of woman would she be when she stood up again? 

     As if in answer. Solona suddenly stopped her crying. She eased Cullen from her arms and onto the floor before she rose to her feet. Alistair had never seen her stand so tall, it was as if she hadn’t shed a single tear. But when Solona turned around, the look in her eyes terrified him. Solona's fist were clenched so tight her knuckles were bone white. As she stalked towards the door, a shadow loomed in her footsteps.

     “Let’s go.” She said. Her voice was low and foreboding. “I have a promise to keep.” And like a phantom of death she passed by them into the chaos beyond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading Broken all the way to the end! Sorry there wasn't a happy ending but I hope you still enjoyed it! 
> 
> Seeing as how this is my first completed fanfiction ever, I would love to hear feedback from you guys about anything you may have liked or disliked. If you enjoyed it, please don't forget to leave a kudo! 
> 
> Thanks again everyone for your support!


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